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April 27, 2012
by MJ
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I am not a Poet

I am not a poet.
I am a lover of words and a spinner of tales
I speak words into emotions and life into thought
I  hurl words at consciousness and spin metaphors out of  pain.
I voice my technicolor thoughts and music them into ear
I turn  up the volume and preach to  inner fear.

I am not a poet.
I am a lover of words and spinner of tales
I’m the silent music man speaking joy into bitter-sweet refrain
when all sound is gone and only words remain
the lover of words and spinner of tales will prevail

I am not a poet.
my words are tinged with erotic scents and brusque slant
with each breath, each rapturous pant
that with every verse told, every idea spoken
the poetry of verse, the music of chorus
gives new perspective into life for each and every one of us

I am a lover of words and a spinner of tales
living in the twenty-first century.
where the world is a mouse click away,
where I love my words and spin many a tale
from a notepad, tablet, my memory
even straight from my blackberry.

I am in love with words and caught in the spinning of many tales.
yet, I am not a poet.

October 24, 2011
by MJ
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Lost in Nairobi

Do not find yourself stranded

Especially in my country

Especially now

Don’t look like an {almost but not quite well dressed} Arab

Lost, in a {green leafy} upmarket suburb

unable to speak {my} English language

or forget to remember where it is that you were coming from

or how far you walked to get there

there, being this place

where you are currently standing

lost

asking in half English class remembered words where you are coming from

in my {currently very paranoid} country

that is jumping at Al-Shabaab shadows.

 

Don’t stop and ask security guards for directions either

they will think you an idiot terrorist

carrying a bomb stashed in your Nakumatt bought cigarettes.

Don’t stop a passerby hoping to get directions

they will do the stranger relations, smirk, sneer,or ignore you while rapidly walking away.

Or they might think you a very strange con man, with your very strange elaborate con hidden in your Nakumatt paper bag

 

Instead, ask for help from the kindly prep school; gate-keeper

who will then stop a young lass passing {hurriedly} by

who will have enough heart to try to understand which direction you were coming from through your barely remembered classroom taught English,

get frustrated and finally give up,

and then have the sense to tell you

to go back to the Nakumatt supermarket you bought your cigarettes from

and try get your bearings from there

or ask the {sometimes nice} people at the help desk to help you.

After all…they do say ‘You need it, we’ve got it’

{they might have directions for you}

 

But us? no…you wont get from us {regular} people.

Our country is at war with suicidal militant Cushites from the Horn you couldn’t pick a more original name for a terrorist organization.

{‘Al-Shabaab? Is that like…some kind of spicy kebab or something?’ asked the blonde}

And who are ruthless enough to have us all jumping at their shadows.

 

No…you cannot get help from us {regular} people.

In these tough economic and terror filled times

‘Chakusaidia ni chakuibiwa,shida yako si yangu’.

Borrowed from www.neogaf.com

October 6, 2011
by MJ
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Sober Insanity.

The room fell silent.

Expectant eyes

Brown, blue,grey, sea green

Jealous eyes, bored eyes, blank eyes.

Snap to attention.

 

It was her turn to speak.

A squeak, like a trapped mouse

escapes her lips.

 

Not recognising this strange voice

voice box re-lubricated

she tries again.

Deep, resonant, rich in tenor and character.

 

Confidently,

She spoke.

They listened attentively.

They felt intensely

Emotion thus engraved

In their memories,

Thus the Path was paved for the telling

She educated,

How to assemble an atomic bomb.

 

October 3, 2011
by MJ
1 Comment

Mindriddles

I tried to stay,

As long as I could.

I tried to wait,

Like you said I should.

It may have been, new,

If only you could..

If only you could have been true.

True to yourself.

You’re only as sick as your secrets.

The things you hide

These are the things that will destroy you

September 15, 2011
by MJ
0 comments

When the student is Ready, The Teacher appears.

We currently live in a fast paced world driven by instant gratification. Instant coffee. Instant romance. Instant showers. Our waking moments are inundated with cycles of high energy high impact advertisements, conversations, work related demands. As our stress levels increase, it then becomes very easy for us to get bogged down, more intellectually and spiritually.

We all have read many self help, motivational or personal development posts that begin the same way. While they are well intentioned, one tends to get the same information, recycled almost, in a manner that really does not add value to your life in general. Few offer guidance as to how you can PAUSE the noise of world, and tune in to you inner radio. How to access tools that help you fashion yourself into a balanced individual.

Today, I’d like to share with you some ‘recycled’ information, although in its raw form, which informs one of the reasons why I believe that taking a journey into your ‘self’ and consciously seeking avenues to learn about yourself and the world is important.

One of my favourite books “the Power of the Myth” by John Campbell, popped into my life at a very difficult time. In this book, he tackles the idea of “following your blessing” or your personal truth. Most of us see it as fulfilling your divine purpose, or our destiny. His words were life changing for me because he simply challenges us to require more of myself, as a daughter, student, friend and employee, and to strive to live a fuller, more meaningful life.

Below, I share an excerpt with you from one of my favorite authors, Paulo Coelho, from a past (2008) blog post on the subject. Paulo Coelho is a wellspring of insight on the subject of fulfilling your personal legend.

 

>>>>Alan Cohen, a therapist who lives in Hawaii, is also working on this theme. He says that in his lectures he asks those who are dissatisfied with their work and seventy-five percent of the audience raise their hands. Cohen has created a system of twelve steps to help people to rediscover their “blessing” (he is a follower of Campbell):

1] Tell yourself the truth: draw two columns on a sheet of paper and in the left column write down what you would love to do. Then write down on the other side everything you’re doing without any enthusiasm. Write as if nobody were ever going to read what is there, don’t censure or judge your answers.

2] Start slowly, but start: call your travel agent, look for something that fits your budget; go and see the movie that you’ve been putting off; buy the book that you’ve been wanting to buy. Be generous to yourself and you’ll see that even these small steps will make you feel more alive.

3] Stop slowly, but stop: some things use up all your energy. Do you really need to go that committee meeting? Do you need to help those who do not want to be helped? Does your boss have the right to demand that in addition to your work you have to go to all the same parties that he goes to? When you stop doing what you’re not interested in doing, you’ll realize that you were making more demands of yourself than others were really asking.

4] Discover your small talents: what do your friends tell you that you do well? What do you do with relish, even if it’s not perfectly well done? These small talents are hidden messages of your large occult talents.

5] Begin to choose: if something gives you pleasure, don’t hesitate. If you’re in doubt, close your eyes, imagine that you’ve made decision A and see all that it will bring you. Now do the same with decision B. The decision that makes you feel more connected to life is the right one – even if it’s not the easiest to make.

6] Don’t base your decisions on financial gain: the gain will come if you really do it with enthusiasm. The same vase, made by a potter who loves what he does and by a man who hates his job, has a soul. It will be quickly sold (in the first case) or will stay on the shelves (in the second case).

7] Follow your intuition: the most interesting work is the one where you allow yourself to be creative. Einstein said: “I did not reach my understanding of the Universe using just mathematics.” Descartes, the father of logic, developed his method based on a dream he had.

8] Don’t be afraid to change your mind: if you put a decision aside and this bothers you, think again about what you chose. Don’t struggle against what gives you pleasure.

9] Learn how to rest: one day a week without thinking about work lets the subconscious help you, and many problems (but not all) are solved without any help from reason.

10] Let things show you a happier path: if you are struggling too much for something, without any results appearing, be more flexible and follow the paths that life offers. This does not mean giving up the struggle, growing lazy or leaving things in the hands of others – it means understanding that work with love brings us strength, never despair.

11] Read the signs: this is an individual language joined to intuition that appears at the right moments. Even if the signs point in the opposite direction from what you planned, follow them. Sometimes you can go wrong, but this is the best way to learn this new language.

12] Finally, take risks! the men who have changed the world set out on their paths through an act of faith. Believe in the force of your dreams. God is fair, He wouldn’t put in your heart a desire that couldn’t come true.

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September 1, 2011
by MJ
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Friendship

Let it not be forgotten,

the value of friendship.

It is difficult, tenuous, sustaining and incredibly rewarding.

guard your friendships jealously.

do not let the follies of the world and the weaknesses of the human spirit whittle away this most precious of bonds.

turn those stumbling blocks into stepping-stones…

honor it, nurture it, tend to it with similar care as mother would its child.

and when the world gets in the way of your happyness,

and it  comes to an end

mourn its passing as a lover would her heart

and do not forget what was had while it thrived.

 

http://monkey167.deviantart.com/art/limbo-boy-172578089?q=favby%3Aneverendinglimbo%2F40605301&qo=25

September 1, 2011
by MJ
0 comments

limbo…

This Place

is like- a prison

where minutes feel like days and hours years…

Years away from the things and people I love.

 

my knowlegde of sanity

fleeting..

beginning and ending with

a memory.

barely remembered.

Of what it is to be happy.

August 25, 2011
by MJ
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Au début.

Start afresh.

divorce

the past from the present

the future does not yet exist.

wish for it, want it, forget it.

if the present does not exist.

 

Separate

the forgiven from the unforgivable

some mistakes

just cannot be forgotten.

 

Appreciate;

that the effort is gargantuan

that your resolve must be steadfast

and mutual

that only commitment can see you through.

Only if the dream is mutual.

 

 

Now, start.

Towards your new beginning

Until then…

It isn’t written.

August 15, 2011
by MJ
0 comments

Listless

What am I fighting for?

Fantasies, fleetingly flying fantastically by ?

Half baked, they halfway take.

When everything I loved

I  lost…

Lifted.

From a dream-like state into consciousness;

into the barren land of silence

of unresponsive hearts seeking to still eagerness

hidden meanings remaining undecipherable

What am I fighting for?

You refuse my love, snuff my joy, amplify my pain

Negate my reason for living.

And  should I fight for you.

In silence, I sit

Contemplate the state of my world.

Like a gaping mouth

about to swallow me whole;

I look, I see, I judge…

Myself

through your eyes.

You make me feel

like I need fixing.

Half stepping, off looking

always

becoming someone I am not.

I can never be free.

Not in this never-ending test.

Never will measure up

Never will be 100%

Never able to be myself

Never giving of yourself.

Your way or no way

Here, it ends.